I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
