; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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