you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
