so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
