Got a toothbrush?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm always down for nudity.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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