Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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