Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize