We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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