i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
