the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
