Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
