Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
