Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
