Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
