in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
