You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
