So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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