Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
