i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
