Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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