i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
