I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
