I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
