Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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