the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
