She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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