he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
