Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
