im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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