We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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