she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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