unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
