Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
