Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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