i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
