did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
