remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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