billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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