Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Terrible idea I love it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
