I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize