I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
