Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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