i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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