i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
