i just google imaged poop.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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