I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
