East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
