I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
