I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
