Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
