Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.

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(530): View more from California

my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

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(440): View more from Ohio

My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.

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(660): View more from Missouri

When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.

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