JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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