Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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