this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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