Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize