it's too hot outside to masturbate.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize