U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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