Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
