His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
