Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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