I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so let's talk penis.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
