Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
