sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
