i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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