You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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