Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
