I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
