What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My dick has a subreddit
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
