sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
