Already got asked if we're dating
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
